BIBLE: How To Win Back A "Fallen" Christian

BEFORE READING THIS BLOG, IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU READ MY BLOG FROM A FEW DAYS AGO, LEAVE 99 AND GO FOR 1.  IT SETS UP THE ATTITUDE AND SOME OF THE LANGUAGE I WILL BE USING HERE IN THIS BLOG.

I'm not speaking to this question having gone through some kind of seminary class on the theology of rescuing wayward Christians.  Neither have I been to some psychology classes that gives me some kind of degree to hang out a shingle and start a counseling firm.  I have a Spiritual Gift of counseling, but no degree.

So what are my credentials?  I have only one.  I'm one of the wayward Christians who have been rescued...on more than one occasion.  A "success story" type description would be a bit of a stretch.  I made it through once, only to do again what I swore would NEVER happen again!  But I'm also one of the fortunate ones.  I'm in love with Jesus today and I'm learning more and more about Him every day.  There's hope for those like me.  Maybe you know someone like me and you want more than anything to see them in a better place.  Read on. There's no formula, but here, you'll get a little advice, a few guidelines, and, I pray, a lot of hope!!!

First and foremost, YOU need to realize that you're no different.  Name the sin.  Whatever it is that someone else has done, it's no worse than anything you've done!  The moment you think yourself better, in any way, than the person you want to help, you give the enemy a foothold in the outcome.  The devil will consistently spin the conversations with that attitude unless you first surrender that spirit of superiority to Christ, repent of it, and be a conduit of grace because you fully understand that it took the same Spotless Lamb's blood to save YOUR sin as it will theirs.  If you can't reach this place, let someone else handle it.  But this is important for ALL Christians to realize, not just a few.  It's the recognition of the power of the grace and forgiveness in our own lives that supercharges the effectiveness of our testimonies and counsel to others.  It's "Being A Christian 101!"

Second, you need to realize that tough love and scare tactics rarely work.  It's not something you see in scripture either.  Giving your life for someone else's is one thing, if you want to call that a form of tough love.  But there's no greater love than that.  THAT kind of love is not only in scripture, it is what Jesus did for us all!!!  Discipline is in scripture.  It even says that God chastises those whom He loves.  So I'm not saying there should not be discipline.  But Jesus never exercised, endorsed, or encouraged any form of tough love!  It causes resentment in the one you're trying to help.  Resentment causes a desire for separation.  The moment you further separate the person any more than what they already are, that is the moment you turn them over to that "roaring lion seeking whom he may devour."  The devil WANTS them alone!  Without protection, they're easy prey.  It's the 1 who has left the 99.  Yet this seems to be the FIRST thing that many Christians do!  We feel like we can't handle it or don't want to, so we take a hands off approach.  We look at them and say, "I'm not sure you're even a sheep.  And if you ARE one, you're not like us and we don't want you or to be associated with you."  But in doing this, we remove the protection of the influence of other Christians in their lives.  We paint a target on the back of the sheep and say, "Here you go, devil.  You can have this one.  He's not worthy to be in our group!"

I can hear your thoughts, "So then are you saying to CONDONE the sin and act like nothing is wrong?"  ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!  Scripture doesn't do that either!!!  Sin is sin and it cost Jesus His life!!!  We need to, again, FULLY understand of what Jesus has forgiven us, before we EVER start trying to point out the ins of others!  We're quick to go to Matthew 18 and say that we should consider them o be like tax collectors and other sinners.  But did we do what Matthew 18 pointed out before it ever got to that point?!?  It lists a step by step process!  But read what happens we choose not to forgive someone who asks for it in Matthew 18:21-35.  It doesn't do well to withhold forgiveness.

So then, WHAT IS THE ANSWER?!?  It's simple.  Love.  That's it.  A simple four letter word.  Love in SPITE of the sin, not because of it.  Love the SINNER, not the sin.  Remember the shepherd going out to find the 1 and leaving the 99?  Remember what his staff is for?  NEVER use the pointy end on the sheep!!!  That is for the enemy, the devourer, not the one you wish to protect.  Guard your words carefully.  Be transparent about your own failures.  Take responsibility for any part you played, even if you don't think you did!!!  This can't be about you.  It's about them.  It is reducing yourself below your rights and what or who you believe you are to reach out to someone who doesn't DESERVE your rescue attempt, but you love them or Jesus or both enough to try.

Now let me say a word about counseling.  I've been through counseling.  I went through about 3 years of it a number of years ago.  It worked some wonders in my life at the time.  I identified a lot of things that helped me to watch out for pitfalls in the future.  But it did not keep me from making the same mistake again!  There are all kinds of great programs out there for all kinds of different problems.  But an alcoholic will always be tempted by alcohol.  A drug addict by drugs.  A porn addict by porn.  These things are readily accessible by anyone who wants to try hard enough.  But NOTHING out there works as well as the move of God in a person's life!  I don't care how many programs you send someone to, Jesus is still better than any doctor or counselor.  I believe in the work of doctors and counselors!  I DO!!!  But Jesus is making the lasting difference!!!

Read Romans 6:23.  Notice the use of the words "is death."  Friends, when Christians sin, there is still DEATH!!!  Hear me?  Let me repeat that.  When Christians sin, there is STILL DEATH!!!  When I sinned, I had all kinds of friends - CHRISTIAN friends - dessert me!  They all told me, "That's the consequences of your sin."  WHAT?!?  No.  See, we don't get to sentence our brothers and sisters to any kind of consequence.  They're dying inside!!!  If they truly know Jesus, there is conviction, there is grief, there is mourning, and yes, there is a part of them that has died.  It is the part called "a right relationship with God."  And that part is the very heartbeat and breath - the LIFE - of a believer in Jesus.  There is NOTHING you or anyone else on this earth can say or do that will cause more death in a person's life that being outside that right relationship!  They may not realize it.  They may deny it.  They may reject a belief in it.  But that's not THEIR choice either!!!  That's Bible.  Death is the payment - the wages - of sin.  God said that would happen.  And our belief as far as what treatment sinners need doesn't mean a hill of beans to God!  He's got this.  He doesn't need our help.  GOD is the Judge.  God is the Jury.  And HE will pronounce sentence.  He has given us two commands, basically.  They are NOT, "watch and see how many tears they cry at the altar, I need to know if they are REALLY sorry!  I can't tell from up here."  He's never deferred and said, "Pastor, how many years of counseling do you think he needs before I let him serve Me again?  Now I know I can't let him back in the capacity he was because you people won't accept him that way."  Sounds ridiculous, almost blasphemous, doesn't it?  But that is the attitude we take.  That's the way we expect God to act.  When He has told us our two responsibilities: love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind, and love our neighbor as ourselves.  Period.  We love them.  We ache with them when we see the sentence (if He chooses to pronounce one) on their lives.  Because we know that but for the grace of God, there go I!

People have looked at Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Bakker, Ted Haggard, Michael English, and the like, and have shamed them and shunned them and refused to listen to them because they have sin in their past.  Well SO DO YOU!!!  The ONLY difference between them and you is that everybody knows what THEY did!!!  What would happen if someone were to read your most private sins that you hope nobody ever finds out about in a public arena?  THEN how would you feel about grace?!?  You'd want a little, wouldn't you?  But we need PROOF that they've repented!!!  NO YOU DON'T!!!  God's a big boy.  He said He would handle that part.  LET HIM!!!  Personally, I think that is a total blatant display of a lack of faith in God!  When Christians do that, it is a window into their own relationship with God that says, "I really don't believe it when I say that God can handle anything, even that which He has promised to handle."  In that situation, YOU are the problem, not the one who is wayward and crying out on the inside for someone to help and listen.

Understand, I'm not trying to get any kind of sympathy or "preach" to friends who turned their backs on me.  I left that to Jesus.  All but 1 has allowed me to restore my relationships with them through Christ.  Thank You, Lord, for that!!!  And I have left the 1 in the hands of Jesus and have accepted his decision not to have any further contact with me.  He has that right.  As far as I know, he will never see this blog.

Truth be told, people who have experienced public sin, people such as those listed above, probably have a closer walk with Jesus than any of you!  WHY?!?  Because HE is the "Great Shepherd" who left the 99 and went after them and now holds them close to His chest!  HE is the "Great Physician."  HE is the "Wonderful Counselor."  Not YOU!  Not Dr. Phil!!!  No Dr. Drew!!!  JESUS!!!!

Let me tell you, friends, I have learned more about the power of God in my life (thus the lives of others since He loves us all) after my "fall" than I ever did before!!!  I'm closer to God now.  I have a renewed sense of purpose.  I have a renewed calling, even though His first call on my life has never been revoked according to Romans 11:29.

I also believe that the closer a person is to a wayward Christian, the more responsibility they have.  Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents, best friends, spouses, children, whatever - we have the responsibility of getting our hands dirty.  Scripture makes it VERY clear what our responsibilities are in Galatians 6:1-3.  Pay strong and close attention to the words "GENTLY" and "HUMBLY."  Plus God says in James 5:19-20 that those who bring them back - those who embark on a rescue mission - end up saving a life and a multitude of sins!  The question to you is, "Do you mean what you say?"  Do you really LOVE that person?

There are many out there who have children, parents, friends, etc who have "gone off the deep end."  I'm no pro.  I have no shingle and no degree.  There are no formulas.  But if you need to ask a question, I would love to help if I can.  Feel free to write me.  You can use the link on the right of this blog under the ABOUT ME section.  I will write you back.  And PLEASE take time to comment below!!!  Share this blog on YOUR Facebook page so that your friends can read what's here.  I believe this information to be so very important.  Just click on the Facebook and Twitter links that are somewhat grayed out below this blog near the "Comments" section and you can share to either one you wish.

Thanks for taking time with me.  I hope and pray this helps you and many others.  Till next time...

BIBLE: Leave 99 and Go for 1

Matthew 18:12-14 (MSG)

I'm one of those sinners.  I'm one of the ones who claims to have a relationship with Jesus, yet I've got a past that would lead some to question.  I'm not proud of my past at all!  I'm reminded of it every day because the devil makes it his business to do so.  But in the middle of one of my "past" seasons, I read the above referenced verse and it changed my life!  But first, just a little bit of background.

I'm not going to go into what all I've done.  It's really not important at all.  Suffice it to say that it was something that I shouldn't have been doing as a believer in Jesus, much less as a Worship Pastor in a church!  But I validated my poor choices because life, at the time, was hard for me.  I, and other staff members at the church where I served, were being abused by the Pastor.  There were many more before us (and some since), but I chose to ignore some red flags when interviewing for the job and went anyway.  So as a result, my experience was no different than that of my predecessors.  This hardship led me to believe I deserved something to make me "feel better."  How many of you have learned that life isn't based on how you FEEL?

What I thought was a hardship at the time was made to look like a cakewalk to the season that followed!  My wife and I lost EVERY friend we had (for two separate reasons) and for the first time in 20 years of marriage, we found ourselves alone with only each other.  For over a YEAR, we had ONE common friend that would get together with us when she could (which due to busy schedules only equaled to about 4-5 times throughout the whole time).  I was isolated.  My wife was there, but because of my mistakes, I was experiencing guilt, anger, bitterness, and brokenness.  I wasn't the model husband at that moment!

It took almost half of that year for God to get my attention and begin the healing process, a process which continues today.  I've come a long way, too!!!  But along the way, God took me to these verses listed at the top.  I had always thought that the 1 that the shepherd left the 99 for was in the category that the church world calls "lost."  (meaning someone who does not trust in Jesus as their Savior)  But that's not what Jesus is saying here at all!!!

The "1" was once a part of the 100!  He was a full fledged part already.  Initiation completed.  Name on the dotted line.  Wool imparted.  Black socks doled out.  This was a SHEEP!  And it was part of the flock!  It just wandered off.

Now, the majority of church folk will tell you that hey don't believe in a God that carries a lightning bolt waiting to strike down that heathen sinner who slides his toe across the Spiritual out-of-bounds line.  BUT, let one of their own mess up...DIFFERENT STORY!!!!  Suddenly it's almost like the whole bunch is pointing not only to the mess, but the mess-er!  We can't believe that one of our own would act like that!  "Why, scripture tells us we're to have no part of someone who does stuff like that!"  Oh no it doesn't!!!  That Matthew chapter 18 (from which the above passage is taken) we often refer to as being on "church discipline" isn't focused on that at all!  It's a chapter on how to be REDEMPTIVE with someone!  Here.  Read the whole thing for yourself and make your own opinion.

When shepherds watched over sheep, they carried a staff.  It was pointy on one end and had a crooked hook on the other.  The staff had three purposes.  First, it was a way for the sheep to see the shepherd.  It stuck high in the air and was taller than the shepherd, so it was easier for them to see.  Second, it was a weapon.  Wolves would be out trying to kill he sheep for a tasty meal.  And the shepherd, who genuinely loved his sheep much like we would a pet in today's society, would use the pointy end of the staff as a weapon against impending predators.  And third, it was a tool of rescue.  Sometimes the sheep would be about to get into danger, or would be in water and couldn't swim.  The hook on the other end would be used to reach out and hook the endangered sheep and pull him to safety.  Jesus was talking to shepherds here.  They knew EXACTLY what he was saying and telling them about the character of God!

When we stray, God doesn't leave the 99 to come and execute His wrath on us for wandering off!  NO!  The wages of our sin are still death!  The eternal part is handled if you're a believer, but not the earthly temporal!  He knows the wolf, the devil, is out there and that we're in danger!  That's right.  His leaving is a RESCUE MISSION!!!  He comes running, calling our names, and seeking us out.  And when He finds us, He doesn't rush over to us.  He knows that would startle us into thinking He is going to be angry.  Instead, He lovingly calls us back to Him.  And if and when we go, He scoops us into His arms and hightails it back to the 99 so that the family is under his safe watch again.

Now here's the hard part, yet it's beautiful at the same time.  The shepherd then breaks the leg of the sheep.  WHAT?!?  I can hear your gasps from here!!!  That's right.  Why?  He does it because though sheep are extremely dumb animals, they have remarkable hearing.  So He takes away their ability to run away by breaking their leg, but then He holds them and nurses them lovingly back to health.  AND as He does this, He always carries the sheep in His arms with the sheep's ears over the left side of His chest...because that's where His heart is.  See, a sheep, when used to hearing the shepherd's heartbeat, won't stray outside earshot of that heartbeat when it's once again released on it's own.  There may come a time when it starts to make a wandering move (it's a dumb breed of animal, remember?), but it will be a long while.

That's the way you truly redeem and treat a Christian who's messed up.  You bring them back in as fast as you can by gently calling them.  Don't bash them or panic and scare them away for good by displaying anger!  But doing everything in love, rescue them from certain danger.  Bring them in.  Hold them accountable by talking away some freedom, maybe.  But constantly surround them and cheer them on letting them know that you are there for them and want nothing more than to see them restored.  Then understand that it is the Shepherd who makes the decision when healing is done and releases them back among us.  That decision is not ours!  No matter how many "Christian counselors" we've been to, know, and have in our Rolodex.

This isn't what was done for me.  But it's what I'll do for someone!  My wife, my parents, and some people I didn't even know prayed for me while Jesus came after me.  I'm walking on my leg again.  It still smarts a little!  But I'm getting there.  :-)