Finding Freedom Following Forgiveness

I don't know exactly how long this blog will be as I start to write, but I can only guess it may take minute. Those of you who follow me on a regular basis will have noticed that I haven't posted a blog since September 5, two months ago to the day. It's not because I had nothing to write about, but I'm a processor when it comes to lessons that I'm learning in life. Ask me for advice? I'll normally give it to you at the drop of a hat. Need help with leadership, music, or photography questions? I'm ready on a dime and I'll pay it. But I've learned in my 43 years that when God starts to teach you something, listen carefully and don't rush it. What follows is such a lesson.

My blogs are me living my life out loud in writing. I don't want to tell you that this is the way that you should believe if God is teaching you or leading you in other directions. This is the result of my time with God about me and what I have read and interpreted scripture to mean and say. If you disagree with me, that's ok. You won't hurt my feelings.

In 2006, I was in the process of interviewing at several different churches. I ended up accepting a position at the First Christian Church in Decatur, IL. There had been some very blatant sin in my life and at the time, I felt the need to be open and honest with the pastor and associate pastor about those issues. I remember telling my accountability partner at the time about my honesty with the staff. His response was, "Kevin, I hope that works out for you. I don't know that I would've been so forthright and magnanimous about it, but I hope that works out for you."

At the time, I didn't know why I'd been so up front either. There was no Biblical reason that I could place my finger on, it just seemed the right thing to do. I followed suit when I moved to Newnan, GA in 2009. I wish I could say that being open about my past kept me from repeating it, but it didn't. But this blog isn't an expose about my life. i recently wrote a book that I'm now editing where I once again state in the intro a very brief list of my failures. Though the book isn't about my failures, rather what God has taught me as a result of them carrying a message of hope to the world, I felt it necessary to briefly state the wrong choices I've made without detail. And I'll be the FIRST to admit that seeing my sin in writing, knowing that the world would too some day soon, was a very jolting experience.

So in light of all of this, the question I'm asked most by others and the question I've even asked myself in times past is, "Why tell it?" I was told not long ago by someone I highly respect and admire that his view was that telling what I'd done gives power to the sin rather than to the blood of Jesus that covers it. That statement to me jolted me almost as much as seeing my sin in black and white letters on a page. I was told that back in September of this year. I needed to ponder that a while. Giving power to sin is not a business in which I want to find myself. I've done that too much through poor choices to start doing that again through good intentions in a blog of all things.

This brought about some "sit back and listen" time between me and God. I desperately wanted to know how I needed to respond, and especially act, in light of this wise counsel. I've also learned that sometimes God gives us convictions that are different based on our relationship with Him and our life experiences. Mind you, these would not be things that are black and white in scripture! He would never tell you that there's more than one way to heaven or that Jesus may have just been a prophet. But for instance, my personal conviction is the Bible does not teach total abstinence from alcohol. I know there are some of you that strongly disagree with that. That's ok. But for those who have had addiction problems with alcohol in the past, no matter what I would believe scripture doesn't condemn, it would not be ok for former addicts to have a drink under any circumstance! That action may send them right back to a former bondage they don't want to revisit. It's tempting the devil. So this transparency issue may be a similar one.

Let's first tackle transparency with God. Can we all agree that we can hide nothing from God? If you didn't know that, well...you can't. He sees all, knows all, hears all, and is over all. There's no way to get around our Heavenly Father. When we confess our sins to Him, we are simply agreeing with Him that we have done what He already knows we've done. So why is it necessary if He already knows? It's not necessary for Him. It's necessary for US. It's opening up ourselves to His love, holiness, forgiveness, and mercy. Scripture equates sin to darkness many times throughout. In contrast, it equates God, holiness, and righteousness to light. When light, even a small flicker, is introduced into darkness, darkness cannot hide from light. Darkness is forced to reveal its secrets.

But the revelation of secrets can be a scary thing, can't it? We don't like other people, especially someone in authority, like GOD, knowing all our junk. After all, we're programmed from the time we are kids that "good" is rewarded and "bad" is punished. We're told that Santa Claus only come to "good" boys and girls. So we'd better watch out and not cry or pout. The first thing that's asked of a baby sitter or someone watching kids for a time by parents on their return is, "Were they good?" When kids ask for candy, ice cream, toys, etc. when parents are running errands or our shopping, the general answer is something like, "If you're good while we're out, I'll get you ______." And all of that is programmed into our minds during the most formative years.

So no wonder as adults, even though we may never be under authority where someone would use those phrases to describe us, the devil has a field day with well intended lessons we learned as children. He continues and feeds the idea that we will be rewarded if we're good and punished if we're bad. So more than anything, we want to be "good" people! We don't want others to know how bad we are behind closed doors. We don't want them to find out what we watched on our computers, or the few deposits we left off our taxes, or the true intent of our hearts when we gossip in the name of a prayer request. We magnify the bad deeds of others, why? Because it makes us look "good." So why upset that apple cart?

Besides that, it's only between you and God, right? And God is the only one who can forgive sin anyway. Verses like 1 John 1:9 that says, "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness." (NLT) That is indeed 100% correct. Only God can forgive the eternal consequence of sin through the work of Jesus on the cross. And He is faithful to do so. But what about the next time you're faced with that choice? See, sin normally isn't done in light where everybody else can see what we're doing. Those things from your computer, the taxes. the heart's intent, those things are all hidden from prying eyes. And the fact that they are hidden creates an environment rich in temptation.

Luke 4:19, Jesus says, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor, He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." But let's be honest. freed prisoners sometimes find their way back to captivity. Before we know it, we can find ourselves back under the weight of oppression. Sin that we thought was in our past comes to surface again. There is indeed freedom to be had, otherwise Jesus would be a liar. So if there indeed is freedom, how do we experience it? Here is where God has started teaching me new things. Bear with me and let's chat a minute, because you might not understand or comprehend unless we wrap it all together and you finish with me. There are certain parts of our salvation that are "one time only" and others that are a process.

1 Peter 3:18, Romans 6:10, Hebrews 9:27-28, Hebrews 10:12, and Hebrews 7:27, we are told Jesus died "once" for all (click on the verses to read them). His death was good enough to cover the sin of the world past, present, and future. Romans 8:35-39 reminds us that nothing in the natural or supernatural can separate us from the love of God. Our salvation is secure. But in Philippians 2:12, it tells us to "work out our salvation." Is that contradictory? Not at all.

Everything about scripture is uniquely linked as only God could orchestrate it. Sometimes in our reading of scripture, we can tend to jump from "linked" to "equated," however. When we think about love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness, because it took all of them for our salvation, we tend to treat them as all pretty much the same thing. They indeed are linked, but are not equal in definition nor should we treat them as such. Love is the foundation. It started the whole relationship process. God first loved us and therefore we can love Him. And as we read earlier, nothing can separate us from His love. But love wasn't enough without the cross. Love required action for sin to be defeated. An action that Jesus even prayed could be bypassed. But it couldn't. Mercy won out. Jesus paid our debt. And Lamentations 3:22-23 say that His mercies are new every morning. Why do they even need to be? Because we have a sin nature and we will continue to sin post-salvation. But then there's grace. Grace is the key to salvation in Jesus. It's what His blood paid for. (Ephesians 2:8) Our faith in who Jesus is and what He did leads us to His grace which is the miraculous result of the cross. It is the conduit through which flows forgiveness from the Father.

I've said it this way:
     Love holds on to us.
     We hold on to grace.
     Mercy holds grace within reach.

Stay with me for just a little longer because I'm about to put it all together for you into this wonderful lesson that I've learned over the last two months or so.

I think that most of us can hang with these general truths. Confession is required for salvation. God's love for us is foundational to every aspect of our relationship with Him. Forgiveness comes through grace which is recognized through our faith because of our belief in the work that Jesus did for us on the cross.

And then I read 2 Peter 3:18 where it says, "...you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ..." Grow in grace? What does that mean? It was here that the lights started popping as God revealed things to me. The youth pastor at my church did a devotion with us as a worship team a week and a half ago and this verse was his text. In that devotion time I learned that there are two Greek words that translate to the English word knowledge that is used in the New Testament. One is "gnosis." Gnosis is gaining knowledge through the study of a subject. Gnosis is what we get from school. It is what produces degrees and diplomas. The second word is "epignosis." Epignosis is what is used in 2 Peter. And epignosis is knowledge that is gains through having an intimate relationship with someone. Peter is telling us that the growth of grace comes through getting to know Jesus more as a person through an intimate relationship with Him.

Remember us talking about light and dark? Holiness and sin? The desire to be good from childhood? We want to be good so badly that we view our own sin as "not being that bad." We tell "little white lies" and are quick to "just follow our hearts" even though scripture warns that the heart is "deceitfully wicked." (Jeremiah 17:9) We have gotten so busy in the pursuit of being good that we have neglected the pursuit to be holy. Holiness is what we're called to, not goodness. And they are two very different things.

Through time the devil has made us fearful of holiness because it is light, and light will illumine what we try so desperately to hide and will reveal to the world that we are not near as "good" as we say we are. But God says that's a GOOD thing! Here's why. When we draw close to God, His holiness shines its light into our lives and, yes, illumines the hidden places. But light kills the POWER of the hidden sin! Growing in grace ONLY happens when we realize the true wretchedness of our own sin. That happens when we draw close to Christ. Our "little white lies" take on a much different and horrifying look in the pure light of holiness. Holiness from Jesus removes the veil and allows us to surround ourselves with others who care and can help us "work out our salvation." Huh? Others? YES!

Now PLEASE click on this link from James that is coming! I don't want you to miss this. It is central to what I have learned and want to share with you. Click here: James 5:13-16. Did you see that? When we ask forgiveness of God for sin, even when others pray over us and we agree, we receive forgiveness from God. But HEALING (which I believe to be primarily spiritual, but also can be the physical) come from CONFESSING TO EACH OTHER!!! There is power in Jesus, to forgive, yes, but HE set up the Church and we are His bride. Because He instituted us and we are soon to be joined with Him, He has empowered us through His Holy Spirit. The freedom from oppression that He spoke about in Luke, freedom from sin that has seemed so elusive to the Church for so long, is found when we confess sins one to another!

Now does this mean we need to broadcast it and be reckless with how we tell it and to whom? NO! But our small group is the Church. Our Christian friends are the Church. Our prayer groups, worship teams, volunteer groups, Sunday School classes, Christian golfing buddies, they're ALL the Church. The intent was to not tackle sin ALONE because we can't. Our fellowship with Christ brings forgiveness, but our fellowship with each other brings healing because that's what Jesus has empowered us to bring to each other! I'm about to shout people!!!

The Church has been trying to help God along thinking that His plan wasn't complete enough or maybe even to harsh. We've wanted to protect the innocent and even protect ourselves from people who would gossip about us if they knew our hidden secrets. But when we bring the hidden to light, we negate the power that what was hidden had over us! Sin becomes POWERLESS in confession just as darkness is powerless in light.

So WHO and WHAT do we tell? Glad you asked. WHAT would you be worried that others would find out? That's what you tell. WHO would you be most worried about telling? That's WHO you tell. Am I crazy? Nope. But worry is a tool of the enemy, is it not? It wears on our mental state, our physical health, and can extend to our families as well. If we get the darkness into the light, we remove the cloud of worry that would otherwise hang over our heads. We invite accountability into ur lives to assist in bringing freedom from the chains that held us. Our stories of hope through sin and failure become faith building tools to the Church at large.

People sit in church pews EVERY WEEK and are in bondage to some kind of secret sin because they think they are alone and that their sin is worse than what others go through because everybody else is "good." Oh, they've heard the testimonies from others who have been in "sin," but they didn't ever name it. They think to themselves, "So surely it MUST'VE been just something like lying or running a stop sign. After all, they would never be guilty of something as bad as _________ like me." And they play along all the while living in deceit that they are the only ones. That is a tool of the enemy, my friends! We are to worship "in spirit and in truth!" Hiding our sin or making appear to be better than what it was is not truth and it does not glorify the hope we have in Jesus through His mercy, grace and forgiveness.

I know this is different from the way most Church is done today. But think about if this were the norm in your church ethos. Gossip would all but disappear because it would be powerless. Compassion would increase as those who had walked a mile would put the arms of others around their necks who are going through something similar. True forgiveness would be easier because we would realize we have no reason to hold a grudge. Stress would decrease due to reduced worry. Needs would be met because people could talk about their financial problems. Health would increase because sin, stress, and worry wouldn't weigh on the heart and mind. Seriously, do you see a down side? Of course not. Because I believe with all my heart that this is what Jesus had in mind when He instituted and empowered the Church.

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THANK YOU for stopping by!  Till next time...

Healing Is A Process

It's been one month today since I posted my last blog. I hope you'll forgive me for taking so long. As you know, I've tried to post about every two weeks or so. But on June 5, I had reconstructive surgery on my left foot. Also, one of the two perineal tendons in the same leg had ruptured. They repaired it at the same time.

Going into the surgery, I knew that I would be down for about two months (or even a little longer) without being able to put weight on my foot, thus being out of work. So I determined within myself that I would not waste that time, but would do a couple of things that I've dreamed of doing.

First, I've wanted to write a book for a long time. Years ago, I thought that my first book would be a devotional book. I even started writing it. But about a week into a four week series of devotions, other things seemed to capture my attention more than writing. So I laid the computer down and never finished the book. However, this time, I have completed my very first book! The initial first draft is under review as I write this and I will follow up with some editing, I'm sure, before shopping it to publishers. To top that off, I actually started my second book just yesterday!

Second, I had determined that I would start learning to play guitar. I had started beck in 2008 when in IL serving a church there, but had walked away from it almost entirely since then. There were very few times when I had even picked it up to see if I remembered the two or three chords I'd learned. I'm now a week into practicing again and am taking lessons on my computer, which is VERY COOL!!!

What I have learned, or maybe learned again, is the importance of process. In reality, process isn't bound to just physical healing, there is process in every single facet of life!  But the importance of the process is what has really been driven home. It is the process that will prepare and prosper us and make us ready for our promise.

I love sports! Football and baseball are my favorite two to watch, but I also love tennis, volleyball, and ping pong (or table tennis). I wonder what would happen if, in football, a team could just skip the season and go straight to the Super Bowl? I've not done a poll of NFL players to see, but it would be my guess that there probably wouldn't be a single team that would take that opportunity. Why? They wouldn't have had the chance to prove themselves worthy of the Lombardi Trophy!

There is a testing of wills that happens on the playing field, especially between two equally matched teams, that determines who wants the championship more. When an athlete stands having won, or helped the team win, the championship, he or she stands with flashbacks of every hard knock, every victory that it took, every extra hour of practice put in to taste the taste of victory in this moment! Being the champion is the reward for the faithfulness and determination of the athlete. It's commonly referred to as "playing with heart."

For months prior to my surgery, I had been praying for healing so that I wouldn't have to go through the surgery at all. Healing never came. Even though God has come through for Michelle and I in so many ways, I still wondered why not healing too. Why was God withholding something for which I prayed so diligently? But my actions didn't back up my prayers. I asked for healing, but as a diabetic, I never checked my sugar levels as a diabetic should. Going back through the years, I'd never exercised correctly, eaten anything I wanted, and expected God to just leave me alive and ticking in a healthy state.

But we, especially my generation and younger (I'm 43), have grown up in an extremely "entitled" attitude toward life. Technology has fueled this feeling of entitlement delivering what we want when we want it. But technology's blame would need to be lumped in with so many other conditions that have shaped us and molded our minds into thinking we "deserve" the American Dream to which we hear so many references. Yet that would be like never playing the season and going straight to the Super Bowl. There would be no process involved.

I prayed for healing and even told God that I "wanted" it. But did I really? I wasn't taking care of my body. So what if God had provided healing? Chances are that I would have ended up right back in the same boat from which I'd come. No time would have passed until yet more problems would have surfaced due to the fact I'd never "played the season." My only claim would have been the trophy with no faithfulness or determination exhibited. No process.

As it is, I've checked my sugar levels an average of six times daily and have maintained a 137 average, which is extremely good for a diabetic! My levels prior to surgery were averaging over 250. I'm able to keep them better under control just because I have developed a discipline of checking. I also have a plan of exercise that will start as soon as I'm able. I've been introduced to the Beachbody Company and have been on their Shakeology product daily since my surgery. This has fed my body every vitamin and nutrient I need for a single day. My healing has gone much faster than was originally anticipated all because I'm "playing the season." I'm remaining diligent. I'm embracing the process.

Think back to scripture as people were healed. Some were healed on the spot before Jesus was well known in the region. But as His fame grew, people would "play the season" and determine to get to Jesus for healing. The woman with the issue of blood fought distance and a crowd to get to Jesus and just stretch out to touch his garment. The young paralytic man was carried by his friends and let down through a hole in the roof that they had torn away just to be laid at the Savior's feet. Even going back to the Old Testament in accounts like that of Naaman, the leper,  who was told to go wash in the dirty Jordan River seven times to receive his healing.

There is a common thread here. The healing was a gift. But there was an action asked of each, that was perfectly doable by each one - nothing even remotely physically impossible, before the gift would be handed over. God wanted to see if there was indeed desire behind the request for healing, or if healing would turn out to be a momentary convenience.

What have you asked from God? If you're like me, when you've asked, He's shown you what it is you are to do in order to receive that which you ask. It's never much. He just wants you to show faithfulness and determination - to play the season, embrace the process - before he hands you the trophy you desire. Teams never have to buy the trophy of the rings. They are given. Your healing, or other blessing for which you've asked, can't be bought from God. It is a gift. It is our reward.

God created you in such a way as sickness was never intended! Scripture even says that the stripes Jesus took leading up to His crucifixion were for our healing ("by His stripes we are healed" - Isaiah 53). God does not desire to have anything withheld from you at all.  You're His child! Jesus said, "Whatever you ask in My name will be given to you." God's not dangling something in front of you that He never intended for you to have. He's just waiting on you - on us - to embrace the process. He's waiting on us to understand that there is a season that must be played before the trophy is given.

What can you do before your healing that would ensure sustainable health after your healing? Exercise more, or even start exercising? Eat healthier? Check your sugar levels? :-) What is your Jordan River? What is your house with a roof that must be torn away? Your healing - your blessing - waits just on the other side. Don't miss out on it because the water looks dirty or the way in seems blocked. There's healing in the muddy water. There's a way to make a hole. Embrace the process. Start now!

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THANK YOU for stopping by!  Till next time...